Horror-mones

Let me take a minute to talk about hormones.

There was always that one time a month where I would be a little extra cock-eyed and crazier than normal, but that is NOTHING compared to pregnancy hormones.

My mother is known for her wicked PMS (sorry Ma, I called you out). Seriously, my stepdad actually tracks the days so he knows when to act right. I don't think she'll be embarrassed; we embrace our crazy fully in the family. I don't believe I've ever acquired her she-devil ways, so now that I'm pregnant, I'm paying for it double.

I cry at least once a day. Anything can set me off into a sob-fest. Recently, the mere thought of going back home to Pittsburgh for 30 days and to see my family, friends and my across the country best friend, Chrissy, makes me lose my marbles. I'm sitting here researching things to do in The 'burgh so I don't miss anything which seems like a good idea, except I'm having a hard time seeing the screen through tears. 

Triggers:

Chipped ham sandwiches > reminds me of childhood > bawling

Mt. Washington > Erik proposed to me there > this time I'll be pregnant > cue tears

Chrissy > met her through the military > going to experience my non-military life > sentimental mess

Heinz ketchup in fridge > Heinz is from Pittsburgh > want to cry everytime I open my fridge

You get the idea, ANYTHING can trigger it. I can't even control it. You'd think I'd just be excited, but it is SO beyond that. I picture my mom picking me up from the airport and me seeing her face again, I imagine my dad's big warm hugs, I imagine embracing my best friend for the first time in over a year, I see myself kissing my God babies until they turn blue, and dream of everything I'm going to do when I get  there.

I'm crying. I'm so pathetic that I have to share this so that you all can at least laugh at me. I'm glad I'm in the privacy of my own home, haha.

I'm Sure You Get It BUT...

I'm 10 weeks! Sorry everyone, for spamming you with baby photos, statuses, updates and blogs. I'm making NO promise to quit anytime soon.

I'm actually feeling pretty well today. I'm sleepy, so I'm due for a nap soon, but otherwise I'm content. I've been able to eat today with no issues, which is always nice. I am INCREDIBLY thirsty though; I can NOT drink enough water. I've been crying a lot, but I try to do it alone. I've been crying while looking at baby clothes; I envision my little boy or girl in these clothes and then it hits me that I'm going to be a mom. Being a mother is the one thing I know that I will be wonderful at and I'm just so anxious to start.  

I haven't actually gained any weight, in fact, I'm down two pounds but I certainly don't look like it. I'm so bloated everyday. Sometimes, for maybe a few hours, I'll feel normal. I've read in all of my normal sources that this week I can really start noticing a little bump starting to grow. My uterus is the size of a grapefruit! My books tell me that I'll probably have to unbutton pants, wear stretchy clothes or go up a size BUT I live in yoga pants and dresses, so it's not too much of an issue.

The baby is the size of a prune. It's starting to look like an actual human and it's webbing between the fingers and toes are disappearing. By next week, the baby will already be the size of a lime; they grow so fast! 

Exactly 1 week from today my family and friends will be able to experience all this and watch me grow in person. Can't wait to see you all! xo

Belly Laughs

Hello, fellow blog readers. Today, I'm going to whine. I'm giving you a fair warning in case you want to get out while you can.

I've been feeling dreadful.

Exhaustion. Check.

Hot flashes. Check.

Hunger plus inability to eat. Check.

Nausea. Check.

"Digestive Issues" BIG FAT CHECK.

Yes. Growing a human is hard work and I'm more of an instant gratification kind of gal, but I'll just have to learn patience because I'm in this until January. Could it be worse? Yes. Would I still love every exhausting minute of it all, in a way, yes. I'm creating the lungs, the fingers and toes, the brain of a tiny human that's half me and half the love of my life. This is our gift for loving eachother unconditionally, every single day. We have so much love for one another that it overflows, and what a perfect way to use this abundance. We have so much love to give to this Baby Peterson, but right now I'm going to moan a bit, because when I'm holding this miracle in my arms, everything will have been worth it.

I read Jenny McCarthy's book, Belly Laughs, in it's entirety today while in the car to Brunssum. I absolutely loved this book. She really shed light on every symptom, hemroids and sexual encounters included. It's the truth behind the "pregnancy glow" and the sweet kicks of your baby that you feel from the inside out; it's more than the beauty that we believe it to be. Here are a few of my favorite and relatable excerpts to follow.

"For me, the worst of it came (or didn't come, to be more precise) in the beginning. I honestly went thirteen days without even a rumble. And I was eating enormous amounts of food. Where could it be going? I wasn't packing weight on just yet... and it certainly wasn't coming out. Then one day, BAM! There was no way around it, things were rumbling and they wanted to come out. From the feel of things, I could tell that it was the size of Stonehenge and it was ready to flow." (31-32)

"I got to the point where, in our house at night, I had the air-conditioning on fifty degrees (in nothing but Granny undies--lots of fabric and plenty of coverage but not lots of warmth) while my husband was forced to wear a parka and mittens. He kept complaining that icicles were forming on his nose. Of course, reasonable and emotionally balanced pregnant woman that I was, I didn't care if he turned into Frosty the Snowman as long as I kept cool." (84)

"Sometimes you have no idea why you're crying. I remember sitting on the sofa watching a piece of lint  roll by and I burst into tears. My husband kept asking me what was wrong, and I remember trying to think of why I was crying, but there wasn't a reason. Crying for no reason just didn't compute for him, so finally I would just make up something, as in, 'I'm crying because you forgot to take the garbage out.' A little cruel, sure. But a reason is something a man can get his head around." (93)

I still have yet to experience the sore boobs, if at all, as well as swelling, back aches, waddling, heartburn, false labor and stretch marks. They'll sneak up on me, and I'll hate it, but it's all for one amazing result: our baby.

Please, Baby Pete, if you can just let Mommy eat when I go home for 30 days, I'll consider ungrounding you from the rest of the symptoms you've caused. xoxo.

The Official Ultrasound

As you know, I've already had an ultrasound, but it was for some mild spotting I was concerned about, so besides the ultrasound we didn't go over much. Today, it was the real deal.

Of course, as usual, I went in terrified - don't ask me why, I don't know anymore. Marieke was my midwife doing the ultrasound today; she asked me to lay down and spread eagle it. Okay, she didn't say that ,but you get the point. Since it's early, this ultrasound was internal, but I already had one before so I knew how it was. THERE IT WAS! It was MUCH bigger than last time (double, actually) and I could see it's little heart beating. Relief. Everything was perfect, even it's little arms and legs. Then, it was moving around! IT MOVES! It's so strange to know that there is some moving inside of you and it has it's own heartbeat. 

She printed us out a sonogram and stored some other pictures on a USB drive for us. We were asked a million questions and I asked her a million as well.

Even though everyone kept telling me I wouldn't have another ultrasound before I went home, I do. Exactly two weeks from today (July 1) we will have our 11 week ultrasound. That's also my birthday! Then, two days later, we take off for Pittsburgh!  HOLY CRAP, CAN THESE COUPLE WEEKS BE ANY MORE EXCITING?!

My symptoms are, of course, fatigue and overall loss of appetite. It has, however, been getting better in the past two days. I'm not fully back to normal, but at least I can eat more than goldfish. To put it bluntly, I'm constipated. I always say "digestive issues",but that really doesn't capture the sheer horror of it. I've been constipated from the beginning - it's terrible & it makes me look 6 months pregnant because my belly starts poking out and is round and hard. I've been trying to hydrate, hydrate, hydrate! I still don't have sore boobs. I NEVER get sore boobs, even with PMS. I'm immune, I suppose.

Aversions: chicken nuggets, most meat (except ham), and coffee.

Cravings: I go through day-to-day "cravings", but I'm mainly eating whatever sits well. Sour candy is my saving grace for nausea.

2 months!

8 weeks, in case you didn't know ;)

The baby is the size of a raspberry, is developing finger and toes on it's little paddles, has a proportionate head to it's body and is growing the brain and nervous system.

If you follow me on Facebook, which you probably do if you're reading this, you probably have an idea of how I'm feeling. I'm exhausted. Pure torture. It's not, "Yawn, I need a nap..." kind of feeling, it's more of a "I'm not in control of my life anymore and I'm pretty sure I'm hallucinating" vibe. When I get super tired, I get nauseous. That's what I was trying to explain on my status yesterday. I'm fine when I'm well rested, so I more so need tips for perking up. Unfortunately, sleep is my best option as well as just sucking it up until my 2nd trimester. My appetite is somewhat nonexistent, although I'm so hungry. It makes no sense and I would never have understood before I got pregnant. Right now the only foods that don't gross me out are sour candies, potatoes (only roasted, mashed makes me queasy now), Spanish rice and crackery foods, but they're even beginning to disgust me now. My current craving is French toast. 2 days ago I kept thinking about them and the craving only got stronger. Luckily, my friend Heather is picking me up some at the commissary. Chicken nuggets still repulse me in every way possible; I even hate making them for the kids. When the breading touches my hand, I wanna puke. It's one of those pregnancy things you can never understand until you experience it.

My hormones are also RIDICULOUS. Erik doesn't know whether to laugh or hide. If I'm not an irritable beez, I'm crying. He mentioned Vandenberg (our previous base) and I cried. I'm tired, I cry.

Pregnancy is such a strange and beautiful thing.

I'm considering investing in a body pillow seeing as how sleeping has become harder. I obviously do not have a big belly yet, but somehow I feel like it. Sleeping on my stomach hurts and sleeping on my side makes my arm fall asleep and belly feel yucky (I don't understand either).

Sorry, not much to update other than my symptoms. I'm hoping that the extra rest when I'm done babysitting will help. As soon as I'm done I'm heading home and will be able to sleep and relax - I'm coming for you, Pittsburgh!

P.S. - still pretty sure I'm having a girl.

Not a Secret Anymore!

So, we released the announcement earlier than planned BUT I got the photos back and just couldn't wait plus I feel so good about my ultrasound that I couldn't hold it in. Below are the links to my previous posts listed from oldest to most recent.

We're Pregnant!

Symptoms & Nerves

5 weeks

Our First Appointment

6 weeks

Our First Ultrasound

I'm thrilled that everyone knows now and that I can openly talk about it. I look forward to updating everyone  from this point on! :)

7 Weeks & Our First Ultrasound

As of yesterday, I am 7 weeks pregnant, and I sure do feel pregnant. I've been suffering from nausea everyday. It's not debilitating, but it's uncomfortable and doesn't allow me to eat. Food is repulsing; I can eat crackery foods and occasionally a few bites of something else, but I'm generally always hungry. I can't wait to feel normal again. Also, I feel like the most exhausted person in the universe. I wake up and I'm ready to go back to bed. I'm too tired and weak to even walk around the house. I save every ounce of energy I have for tending to the kids, but otherwise I've grown roots into the couch. I also still have digestive issues as well as some serious irritability. Sorry everyone. Second trimester, you can't come soon enough!

So, I had my first ultrasound two days ago. Originally, my first ultrasound was on June 17, but I had a concern about some mild spotting and wanted to get checked out to ease my mind. When Erik and I walked into the midwife's office, we felt immediately comfortable, she was wonderful! She told us that she couldn't promise that she would get a definite answer or not, but she would tell us what she saw. Erik sat behind the bed, stroking my hair while we waited to see our baby. Immediately we spotted a fast little heart, thumping away on the screen above and we grabbed hands. It was the most incredible experience of our lives. Our little blueberry-sized baby had already begun to sprout arms and legs, was the perfect size and positioned perfectly. She pointed out the head and yolk sac to us making it all a reality. Erik and I made a tiny human and now it's growing inside of me, perfectly healthy. She gave us a USB drive with 6 photos on it to take home.

We left the office with not only relief, but more love in our hearts than we entered with. My mind has been eased, but unfortunately the symptoms have not. I'll "suffer" for our little baby any day. 

Our next appointment is still on June 17, and if all is great and healthy, we are going to release our announcement photos that we took a few days ago and proceed to tell the world. Erik and I can't wait to share this excitement and love with you all!